This past April, you released your debut EP. What was the experience of making those records like?
Every time I’ve always written stuff, it’s always been just me and an acoustic guitar. So it tends to feel more singer-songwritery; that’s just kind of what comes out. But I always hear the simplicity of it. And that’s okay; some like simple. I like simple too, but in my mind, I’m like, “Man, I want to do stuff with this.”
So going into the studio for the first time for Losing My Mind back in April of 2022, it was just me and a guitar. When I was working with Ben Suede and Carmen Jane, I really wanted to hear what their brains would think of with the song. It was a five- or six-hour session with Ben, and we just started screwing around with stuff, making sounds, and sampling things. We ended up with that first song, and I loved it; it was different. Losing My Mind was not what I expected, but at the same time, it sounds exactly how it’s supposed to.
I can do stuff by myself, but I prefer to be in a room with a few people where we’re clicking creatively and playing off of each other. Really, the experience became kind of like a camaraderie. We were putting it all together, together.
As a solo artist, was there any nervousness about collaborating with others? Ultimately, your name is on the cover of the record.
Yeah, I didn’t know what to expect. You never know, going in if we’re all going to get along after five or six hours of making music. Although I’ve never had a really strong grip of what it’s supposed to be like. We could go in so many different directions, and I would probably end up happy, as long as it still sounds like me. Whatever that is.
So I would say it wasn’t necessarily nervousness or apprehension, it was just more that I didn’t know what to expect. But I knew that I respected what they were doing and respected the music they had already done. I was excited to hear how they would interpret it. You know, Carmen is an amazing singer, so I was really excited to hear what she would do vocally. She’s the one that basically vocal-produced the whole project.
I assume you’ve been writing music for a long time, and I know you’ve been collaborating with other groups for a while too. What made you decide to release an EP of your own in the first place?
I think it was a combination of a lot of things. From that first single, I hadn’t written anything that I had liked or kept before. Before that, back in early 2022, I had written songs and hated them. Coming from a church background, I was super burned out on that creative part of myself. I wasn’t sure, honestly, if writing music was something that I wanted to keep doing. I thought that maybe I should just focus on the drums and be the best drummer, touring and recording, I could be.
Then I ended up writing that first song, which is about my father-in-law, who passed away in 2015. I was writing because anytime it gets close to his birthday or the anniversary, you never know how your person is going to feel. I remember being at home while she was working and thinking about that because it was getting close to his birthday. I was just playing this progression, and I started imagining her having this conversation with me. And that’s what the song is. It’s her talking to me.
I remember writing it and feeling like, “Wow, I don’t hate this song.”
What do you think about that song resonated with you when you wrote it?
Looking back at it, I think it was just because it felt really honest. It wasn’t trying to say something. It was just expressing grief. And grief is common. It’s unique to every person that goes through it, but it’s also just a common thing.
It made sense with where I was at, and it felt like therapy. I tried to write things before, which felt like a lot of trying, which I don’t think is a bad thing. I think you can definitely push yourself to write great stuff, but this just felt so natural.
Was there anything specific you had to work through to become the musician you are today?
Definitely, growing up, my dad was a musician. Since I was a kid, I grew up on the road, so I watched him invest money and lose money. We grew up poor, you know. For me, the hurdle was after I decided I wanted to be a musician. That means I’m going to spend money. Friends will offer to play music for me for free, and that’s their prerogative to offer what they want, but I’m always going to pay musicians who work for me. I value what they do, so I make sure they are paid.
Going into being a musician myself, I had to really fight against the idea that I’m throwing money away. If I’m gonna put all this time, effort, and resources into a project, then I’m not just gonna let it sit because that’s what I’ve seen my dad do. I mean, times are different nowadays; you can self-promote a lot easier, but my dad was never the kind to get out there and push what he was doing. You need to believe in what you do.
The most important thing is really just fighting for inner self-worth. “Should I be investing in myself by doing this?” and, “Can I actually write something that I’m proud of?” and, “Is this actually going to be good? Like, at the end of it all?” Like I said, you need to believe in yourself.
What’s the best way that someone can support what you’re doing?
Streaming the music. It feels so trivial to say that, just because people don’t make money off of steams. It’s just about the opportunities that you have, and numbers can change that drastically. It’s really not about signing a record deal or anything like that, but just being able to show people I have a following opens doors.
*This interview was originally featured in the winter/spring 2024 edition of Echo Chamber Magazine